J at Whitby recording recording studios ElesmerePort
Neil at the recording studios
A and A who were at J's birthday buffett and they also slept the night.

Monday 31st March

I have lost a lb this week which is great, now if I could do this each and every week!!!!
My sister did come down with K and her friend. We had a nice afternoon chatting and popping to the shops. There was a good sale on in Mackays and I got some bright hand towels for the bathroom. I would've looked more closely at the clothes but being in such a FAT mood is no fun. J had friends round (and his girlfriend).

Still doing pretty crappy on the siet (what diet!). I had Slim Fast for late breakfast and when we went out in the afternoon I got myself a cornish pastie from Sayers (it actually wasn't that nice either). Ate 2 chocolate biscuit type thngs and that's pretty much it so far. Been on and off the treadmill but not for any decent length of time.

You see it's all half hearted, this trying to be healthier. I kind of can't be bothered really. Ah though I did make a yummy sweet potato and leek soup earlier and had a mug of that, R did too though she was not that fussed on it.

Been looking at the video we took whilst in France 2003. I weighed 8 st 3 lbs (115 lbs) while on that holiday and I remember thinking OH I must lose more weight - how stupid is that. I would like to get to that weight again. Ah well only 36 lbs to lose then! My first aim really is to get below 140 lbs (so that's 11 lbs to go then).

I need to be more disciplined and stop giving in to stress eating and picking and snacking. I need to stop thinking about food SO MUCH.
Am in the middle of dyeing my hair dark again as I am bored with it. Have no idea how it will come out (look).

New hair colour

Hair has turned out a bit darker than I expected.

Tuesday 1st April

Happy Birthday to my mum - it is her 65th birthday today. She is away at the moment with dad and my sister and 2 grandchildren in Pwllheli

Ok day in work - just want to chil out later and do nothing more than watch tv. Had a shake for breakfast and lunch and a cal counted eve meal - Hmmmmmmm..........

Watched The Diets That Time Forgot (and enjoyed that). Did nibble some mints in the evening but that is all, still, it is something I should NOT be doing whilst trying to lose weight. Apart from the wind it has been so nice the weather today and I have been on work all day. R did go out on her trampoline while grandad babysat. I think since I am only working half day tomorrow, then we ought to go for a walk in the afternoon or to the park or something?

I am finding it easy to have Slim Fast in the mornings and for lunch - what I find MOST difficult is controlling my eating habits in the evenings and to be honest it's not always because I am hungry. I know that if I try that little bit harder and actually MAKE the effort to do SOME regular exercise THEN I WILL lose weight.

Why can't losing weight be easier - why is gaining weight SO easy? If someone said to me "Cathy I want you to lose 10 lbs in a month" then I would struggle. But if they said "Cathy I want you to gain 10 lbs in a month" WHEY HEY easy peesey, heck I could even do it in 2 weeks if needs be.

Oh yippee necxt week is the new series of How To Look Good Naked with Gok - I love it, he is so fab and makes me smile. There's no way I would go on the programme, not unless I'd had major tummy tuck surgery first.

A few people in work said they liked my hair - mostly people just don't say anything. I suppose they are used to me changing my hair often. Came home from work today (Neils dad was babysitting) and he never said a word either. Maybe he never noticed it was darker?
It doesn't matter really, but mostly when people say nothing I take that to mean they don't like it darker. And really I shouldn't be bothered, but sometimes I am.
Really and truly it should not matter. So what. I can dye my hair green, black, red whatever colour - whatever makes me happy. Mmmmm............
This is me feeling blah tonight! Nah not really! Well ok just a bit.

Wed 2nd April 2008

7.45am and I'm just waiting for my lift to work. Neil has already gone to work. I feel slimmer (somehow) this morning (deflated/debloated I guess?). I feel in quite a positive mood for the day. Had my milkshake for breakfast. Is a bit cold out but hopefully it will brighten up later so R and I can go for a walk (even if it is just a short one). Would like J to come along too but it all depends on if he has plans for the day?Grandad is babysitting again, though am just working half day today.

Went dancing in the evening (8pm-10.30pm) and really enjoyed it, we also had a little buffet which was nice and there was an Easter Bonnet competition (I didn;t enter). Am hoping the dancing cancelled out the party food!!!!!!
Didn't get out after work, too tired, too lazy.

Thursday 3rd April

Work - slightly boring today. Had banana Slim Fast for breakfast and lunch. Came home (starving hungry) and had 3 hotdogs - homemade but still................. And to be honest I don't even like hotdogs though the onions were nice. Gotta go out tonight to a Diabetes UK meeting for newly diagnosed diabetics (that the group run, so myself and 2 others chair and run the meetings), guess that'll go on till late (damn).

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.........just worked out that my scoffing tea (hotdogs) cost me 1,220 calories OMG! SO today I have had about 1,800 calories. DAMN (not that I am counting them but.....) Awwwwwww how could I waste that many calories on crappy stuff? Could've had some decent food for that.

Friday 4th April

Yeah it's Friday! Meeting went fine last night. Was a bit naughty and had some ice-cream when I got home.
J is going camping for the weekend to Wales with one of his friends and their family. I am in work today, it's 7.30am. Am going to go dancing tonight, 2 hours. I certainly need the exercise.

Went to Sainsburys after work. We (me Neil and R) had tea there (this is becoming a BAD ahabit) each Friday. Neil said he didn;t think one meal out a week was bad. MMmmm....don't forget the other occassional meals and those frequent snacks and extras and don't forget the bottle of wine on a Sat night and don't forget........etc etc. So you can see why we AREN'T losing ANY weight.

Had shake for breakfast, shake and a salad for lunch and yep tea out (chips, sausage, bacon and egg) OH and on the way home scoffed down 2 packets of smarties (why - well really cos I wanted to eat the blue ones). Did I just eat the blue ones? No, I ate them all - they are such pretty colours!

Am in the middle of doing highlights on my hair (heaven knows what colour it will turn out). Got some of the stuff on the ends of my fingers and they are stinging. Arghghghghghhg

Sat 5th April

Had a lie in. Now can't decide whether to get stuck into house work or try and drag Neil and R out for the day? J is away till tomorrow night. Both kids are back in school on Monday. Monday is going to be my day with NO ONE around - all on my own (YEAH)...then really I need to make an affort to get going to the gym on Mondays. Good times to go to gym are Mondays (on my owm).....Weds after school with R....Sat and Sundays with R (or on own).

We went to a garden centre/aquatic centre a short drive away. It was really nice and the sun was out and we wandered round looking at all the garden statues for sale and all the tropical fish etc.
I LOVE this statue. Not sure how much it was, but the very small statues were £200+ so I guess this would defiantely be over £1,000. I would either have it in the garden or in a nice spot in the houe (though would need a bigger house to do it justice)!
R and I wandering round the garden sentre. We enjoyed looking at all the different fountains, the plants and the fish for sale.
Don't think I'd like these in my garden, though the Chimp is fascinating.

Sunday 6th April

Last day of EAster Hols. I feel guilty that R has done nothing (apart from the brief outing yesterday) for the whole holiday. I know I have worked 4 days a week and have been lucky that Grandad has looked after her. But she has been so inactive the whole time. Grandad is not able to do anything with her so she has just played on her DS or watched tv all the time. All Neil ever does is do stuff on the computer at weekends, either that or we go shopping - that's about it. I had to fill in a form for R for the MEND programme and felt horrified when filling in the activity forms. We have to change the way we are. Neil, R and I are all overweight and it is easy to see why. I feel guilty all the time and blame myself.

We went for a drive (short drive) to Red Rocks and walked around a little, though it was very cold and R had to borrow Neils fleece as she forgot hers, so poor Neil was freezing, so we did not stay out long. We have decided that we should go back when it is a nice warm day. Also we want to walk over to Hilbre Island (an hour and a hlf to 2 hours walk), you have to look at the tide times for this as you can get stranded on the island.
At Red Rocks Hoylake
Look at what I bought for the kitchen yesterday. It is about 12 inches high and I just loved the look of it! Shall I tell you a secret! It's actually for an aquarium for the little fishes to swim in and out of, but I liked the look of it so much, so I got it.

J enjoyed his camping trip, they ended up in a camp in Towyn of all places (not sure why anyone would ever want to go there as is a bit of a dump) but he said they enjoyed it despite the place! There was him, his friend, 2 lads from next door to his friend and their sister - all were the same age (16-17) and 2 sets of parents. He said him and the lads/girl went to the camp club on Sat night, he said there was a group on (typical holiday camp type group) but that they enjoyed themselves. I am glad he had a nice time.