Monday 18th Feb 2008
Brrrrr.........a very frosty morning, a lot of white frost all over the place, the cars are covered in frost though it wasn't slippy walking to school.
Stayed the same weight yet again.
I have several diet type books that I pick up now and then to get motivated. At the moment I have a copy of a book called carb curfew - basically you don't eat carbs after 5pm. Hmmm........Sounds ok, sounds do-able (probably NOT!) - ha! But then, maybe just maybe if I DID cut down on the night time snacking, then just maybe I would lose a few lbs!!!!!! EASY PEESEY.
Also I picked up a book called How The Rich Get Thin (Park Avenue's top diet doctor reveals the secrets to losing weight and feeling great) also it says Drop A Dress Size in 3 Days
Haha...I don't think so.
Also from this book - Add simple mind-set changes such as Stop! Watch! method of craving control.

Errrr.......ok, I (me) stop in the cake isle of the supermarket, I watch the cakes and drool and then I crave them and YES then I buy them, oh yeah and then I eat them. This method works every time.
Also I picked up a book called Faking It (not what you think)
Faking It tells you how to look effortlessley good in any situation
I love the How To Look Thin On The Beach

Pick a spot where the sand is dry and uneven and hollow out two leg sized areas.
Position your towel or sarong over the furrows, place a leg in each one and admire the fact that gravity prevents your thighs from spreading horizontally.
Never sit up straight. Always lie with your legs stretched out, with one knee bent for a relaxed, casual air and your weight supported by your elbows. This lets you make eye contact with people, sip drinks and stare mysteriously out to sea without your stomach looking like the folds of a ruched blind.

I read this out to Neil and the kids (hey, we are staying near a beach when we go to Scotland in the summer - right by one in fact).
J said him and R could bury me in the sand up to my middle if the above gets too complicated!

I think that rather than start each day on this site by saying "today I AM going to ............" and then never actually doing the things I intended to do and therefore feeling a failure - well, I think I'll just comment on the end of each day on the positive things for the day.
Today isn;t over yet....did a few things round the house this morning (eg houvering, polishing). Walked R too and from school.

End of the day (well almost). it was an ok day off, my day off work. I feel relaxed and ready for work tomorrow. Neil and I went to Tesco in the evening and I tried to get healthier stuff. I did okish on diet today
Bfast - Porridge + skim milk
Lunch - Bacon ( was not v hungry) and then a glass of got chocolate in afternoon made with coco powder and skim milk
Tea - A weight watchers ready meal (v bland, gloopy white rice and un-tasty chicken curry) - must not buy this crap again
Eve - 2 chocolate mini truffles (reduced in Tescos) and some crackerbread with a sliced orange pepper. OK should've NOT had the truffles or crackerbread (Have not had this for YEARS). But well, it's the end of the day and I am not going to beat myself up over what I have or have not eaten. I know I need to eat a more balanced diet NOW and cut out the crappy eating in the evening.
Tomorrow is another day!!!!!!!!

Tuesday 19th Feb 2008

Had my 3 month follow up eye check at the hospital today. It is a bit weird being (woeking) in the Eye Dept in the morning and being a patients there in the afternoon!
Got my pupils dilated. Nurse said the pressures were still raised slightly but ok and the Dr said the fluid behind my eye looks a little 'less'

OOoooohhhhh for some warmer weather, though the sunshine looks nice, it is cold.
What I have eaten so far (yes I know this is boring)
Bfast - Porridge and skim milk
Lunch- Granary tuna sandwich with an orange pepper - then an apple and 2 satsumas
Just before tea - 3 chocolates (I counted them in and had the insulin for them as I would normally do which is fine)
Tea - Spag bol (without the spagetti) and a bowl of strawberries

Now really, that should pretty much be it for the day - should I get peckish later on then I will have a mug of hot milk before bed.

Arghghghg - why do they have to show food things on tv? Made me hungry! So we had (Neil and I) some low fat sausage/griddled eggs and 2 slices granary toast in the evening - late evening. Damn
I did do half an hour on the treadmill early evening.....but I guess the snacking and extra eating is far out-weighing the exercise.
What can I say - I have NO WLLPOWER

20 minutes on treadmill at 7.30am before going to work in 10 minutes (8.10am) see you all later

The frost looked so pretty on the trees this morning - v cold. Tonight I did 2 hours dancing which I totally enjoyed. I would say I have been ok with my food today.
Breakfast - porridge and skim milk topped with strawberries
Lunch - Ham and orange pepper sandwich and 2 satsumas
Yea - Stir fry steak with spring onions and small piece of chocolate sponge cake (v small piece)
Eve - Mug of coco.
I am going to make a HUGE effort to get up earlier in the morning and go on the treadmill - is much easier than trying to go on it in the evening (as often am too knackered!). R and I must must make an effort to go back to the gym (was too too cold today!). The thing is, when we do go, we REALLY enjoy it, we do.
That's what losing weight is all about really isn't it - getting plenty of exercise and eating healthily - lose the lbs, say a weight you are happy with and there you go!!!!

Now all I need to do is apply this to me (and the family more often!!!!)

Thu 21st Feb

This is where I work by the way.

Did just 10 minutes v brisk walk on treadmill at 7.30am this morning. Will try and go on it tonight. Am now home from work for the day. Un-organised as ever as far as our evening meal is concerned. Luckily am not v hungry right now - but need to feed the kids. Would be better if we all ate together, but Neil does not get home till 7pm and this is a bit too late for the kids.

Had the yumiiest lunch with Elaine (who I job share with) - we went down to the hospital main restaurant. I had a nice wholemeal/granary roll with lots of salad and tuna and other bits....v. v. nice bought a latte from the upstairs cafe to take back to our office and Ohhhhhhhh...it has CREAM on it!!!!!! Mmmmmmmm.

Am just going to have a cup of tea, sit down and relax for five minutes!!!!!

Well this time next week I will be going to bed early so I can get up v. early for my flight to Kentucky USA. Yipppeeeeee

R and I spent last night in mum and dads, just one night. Mum lent me a wheely suitcase to go away. Bought a few tops (am not going to moan about the size I had to buy!). For once I am going to be happy, not whinge about my weight (though am not happy with it!). My sister Ches said to me today that every time she sees me all I do is moan and go on about my weight - she sort of said 'Get a life'

Sunday 24th Feb 2008

We went to Cheshire Oaks (Outlet village), I got a new pair of comfy shoes for my plane trip, nice ones for £9.99. Also I got a new book to read, can't wait to read it, but WILL wait till next Sunday on the plane!!!!!!

This is the book that I bought (with Neils Xmas vouchers (sorry Neil and THANK YOU), he could not find anything he wanted in Borders so he gave the vouchers to me.

I also bought

The Fat Girls Guide To Life looks like it is going to be a great read.

......Whether you’re overweight or over dieting, Wendy Shanker and The Fat Girl’s Guide to Life will help you drop insecurity instead of pounds.

Wendy Shanker is a fat, healthy, beautiful girl who has simply had enough. Enough of family, friends, co-workers, women’s magazines, even strangers on the street, all trying (and failing) to make her thin. She finally decided, “If I can’t take it off, I’m going take it on.”

With a mandate to change the world—and the energy to do it—Wendy shows how media madness, corporate greed, and even the most well-intentioned loved ones prey on our shrink-to-fit minds, if not our shrink-to-fit bodies. She invites people of all sizes, shapes, and dissatisfactions to trade self-loathing for self-tolerance, celebrity worship for reality reverence, and a carb-free life for a guilt-free Krispy Kreme donut.

Wendy explores dieting debacles, full-figured fashions, and feminist feelings while guiding you through exercise clubs, doctor’s offices, shopping malls, and even the bedroom. She believes that you can be fit and fat, even as the weight loss industry conspires to make you think otherwise. The Fat Girl’s Guide To Life asks you to step off the scale and weigh the issues for yourself........