MONDAY 21st JAN

Weight - 10 st 10 lbs (150 lbs)
Weight to lose (1st target) 10 lbs.

Well, am not sure I want to go on scales today - but I probably will. Have been watching a few 'diet' proframmes on tv in the hope of feeling more motivated, trouble is they tend to make me feel more of a failure for not achieving what the people on the tv achieve.
All I will say is
1. I am not happy at this weight
2. I do NOT want to buy BIGGER clothes (but have bugger all that fits me at the moment)
That's about it really!!!!
YEP I gained weight (yet again) and I know why (crappy eating and not enough exercise). SO who's to blame (Me) oh and maybe Neil occasionally cos when I ask him to make me a sandwich/get me chocolate/get me more! he does.............. which is very very bad of him!
Right - so - new day.
R off school feeling sick and headache (me too). I woke in the middle of the morning and (Neil was still awake) had to get Neil to open the windows my head was hurting that much. Also felt yucky over the weekend. Roll on spring and summer so we can get all these nasty 'bugs' out of the way.

Some pictures (somehow taking random pics makes you feel good, does me anyway)
A heart hanging in my kitchen (it was a Christmas one, but it looks rather rustic and so am keeping it up)
My fruit bowl at the moment (R will eat all the clementines!)
On one of the kitchen worktops (this was also a 'Christmas' item, but am keeping it around, also have 2 on windowsill)
Little Bonsai (?spelling?) tree on sill.
Kitchen still has a lot to do in it (skimming plaster here and there, doing flooring, fixing dishwasher, putting up poles and curtains on windows, painting walls/skirting boards. getting a new internal door and so on!) But am v. v. pleased with how it is now compared to how it was!
Got 2 new lamps for the bedroom (here is one of them)
View from bedroom window!
Was v. lazy in afternoon and watched Torchwood on the BBC web site (as I missed the 1st one last week). Made a nice tea (mustard mash, scampi and veg) which J ate (minus the veg) and R refused to eat (oh great, just great). Also made a jelly (tangerine to which I added some fruit). No exercise as yet, will do bit on treadmill later. Feel better than I did this morning. R is also feeling better (She actually slept until midday)

Hehe!!!!!

I have booked us all a night away in a hotel in Snowdonia, called the Fairy Falls Hotel, in 2 weeks time. Not too bad the price £59.50 for the 4 of us (lrg family room) and that includes full English Breakfast. I just think it i important that we do stuff together and all have something to look forward to, plus it's a nice area and barring terrible weather - we can do some walking.

Thur 24th January 2008

Am definately an apple shape!

Skinnyish legs see! Truly, my body does not go with my legs!!!!
Will take pic (tomorrow) of padding around my middle, if I can bring myself to do so

Had a fairly healthy lunch (well except for the cream donut!)One of the ladies in work got the 3 of us a cale each (she felt we needed some spoiling/comfort food) This was very nice of her. Actually it is AGES since I have had a cream cake, it was SO yummy. Had pasta with tuna and mayo for lunch as well. Our Manager has had a very big op today and we are all praying for her speedy recovery
Have no idea what to do for tea as am NOT organised at all (this is not good when dieting as results in me eating ANYTHING eg pizza which I never ever normally eat). I have got to get organised and do some cooking READY for when I get home from work and do not feel like cooking.

Got through the evening without any major snacking YIPPEE. Today I felt very padded, very padded indeed. Kept feeling 'padding' in hope that it may have gone away at the end of the day. Tried to hold breathe in all day to hold 'padding' in - did not work (just made me look strained and anxious, also gave me backache). I am sure the 'padding' (ok, layer of fat) around my ribs is several inches in depth, tried in vain (last night whilst lying down in bed)to feel my ribs and re-discover my hipbones - no such luck at all I'm afraid to say.
Wonder sometimes how my legs take the strain (as they are actually quite skinny) Stuck lightener on my hair again, not that you can tell, better leave it alone for the time being. Am also growing fringe longer but it does get in the way of seeing! Have to have a fringe cos of my frown lines, you cannot see them here but they are quite deep (I think I frown a lot)!

Another trick for slimmer looking photos is to take pic from above (therefore hiding any double chins), my pics are always taken from above - me looking up slightly!!!! (eg almost up to ceiling!!!!)

Sat 26th Jan 08