Monday 15th October 2007

Weight - 10 st 3 lbs (143 lbs)
Gain - 1 lb
Lbs I want to lose - 23

This is that photo I was talking about... I was not happy, I look too padded!!!!! That is all padding (not the clothes), Arghghghghg. But on close ups I don't look that big. but I am not happy at all with the weight I am now.

Well as you can see I gained a lb, not too bad I suppose considering the amount we have eaten out lately. Went to a meeting in school then up to the village cafe with one of the mums for a latte and a piece of toast!!!!!

Tuesday 16th October 2007

Am worried about R's weight, about my weight and about Neil's weight. J is fine (he does a lot of walking - perhaps we ought to take after him).
Am going to try and think of activities for R to do after school that do not involve just sitting. It's hard to think of stuff though. She is usuallt tired after school and does not feel like doing much. We should definately be more active at the weekends.
She got a High School Musical dance mat for her birthday so we can do that tonight - should be fun.

Mmmmm.......................ate crappily towards the end of the day, what's new. Tried to do a bit of exercise in the evening but well, 15 minutes worth is hardly worth it - is it?
Why the hell can't I just eat healthy and be done with it? Whay is it so easy to sneak the crap in thus ensuring I WON'T be losing any weight next week??????
WHY OH WHY did I let Neil buy that bigger bag of Revels and then why did I pretty much (give or take the few I gave to Neil) .......why did I polish off the whole bag???
Then why in the evening (after a nice healthy cooked dinner) did I eat half a lemon sponge puddign with custard? (OH yeah the custard was low fat wasn't it, yeah I forgot that it was) and then WHY later on did I eat 2 slices of toast (oh yeah, the toast was weight watchers bread) and then I even had room for a medium bowl of rice crispies and what the heck, I finished the day off with 3 lollipops. Not counting the 4 mini treat size bags of Milky Way stars I scoffed in the day (well at least they have all gone now).

The thing is, for someone who really really wants to lose weight - I really do, do stupid things where diet and lack of exercise are concerned.

I WILL have a good day tomorrow. It's Wednesday, work in the morning.

"If you can't take one more day of self-loathing, you're ready to hear the truth: You cannot keep shoveling the same crap into your mouth every day and expect to lose weight"

Got the book Skinny Bitch from Amazon it came this morning (already read the first chapter!) have a look on
http://www.skinnybitch.net/

Thought it looked interesting (few errmmmmm........dare I say it, swear words in it so far, but I can ignore those) Just another book on what you should and should not be eating - but with attitude I guess - we shall see!

Friday 19th October 2007

Had a lovely meal out with work last night, it was really relaxing and enjoyable. I had Leek and Potatoe soup to start, then I had a ppork dish with mixed veggies and thin slices of potatoe and for dessert I had a Damson and Honeycombe Parfait (bit like ice-cream/mousse and crunchie and coffee to finish.

Well, I had better make an effort and be good today. I was good at lunch yesterday having a cottahe cheese salad.