Monday 21st May

Weight - 10 st 6 lbs
(146 lbs)
Stayed same
Lbs to lose - 27 lbs

Not sure how I will do on the scales today. I have not exercised as much this last week though I feel I have done ok with my food - well I hope so anyway.

We want to see the new Pirates film as soon as we can!!!. I stayed the same, bit dissapointing really but never mind. We shall see what next week brings. I am on day 4 now of the Reductil.

See, I am holding it all in here but it still does not go in far enough!!!!!!! I know I don't look that BIG but I know I can look so much better if I can just lose this weight.
J is off today (should be revising for English tomorrow). But I have promied him lunch out, unfortunately we have to wait in as the trampoline pieces are being collected (they sent the wrong ones). They said between 11am and 2pm. I am hoping they come about 11am so we can walk to Heswall for a coffee (long walk).

J and I walked to Heswall (about 2.5 miles), went to a cafe for lunch (a sandwich) and then walked back home. It was so nice spending some time with him, although I know he should have been revising for tomorrow. He is quite confident about doing his English exam though. We then both walked to school to get R. It has been nice and sunny today.

Went to Tesco this evening. I must say I do think these Reductil are working, they are definately reducing my appetite. I went round the whole supermarket and did not have the urge to get anything. Actually nothing appealed, I simply did not feel hungry at all and not tempted to buy anything. Trouble is I have not eaten since mid day and now it's 9.30pm and I am still not hungry.
I have just forced myself to eat some cottage cheese and beetroot (yep that is all) and I know it's not exactly a meal of any sort. But I'm just not hungry. Though who knows, maybe in an hour or 2 ????
Time for another cup of tea!

Tuesday 22nd May

Nice morning in work actually.
Came home. J had just got home (he had english exam this morning). Persuaded him to walk up to the village to try out the new cafe, had a coffee and a sandwich (late lunch). Then we meandered round village and called in at Neil's mum and dads (they were out so we sat on their lawn chatting) then I went on to the school to get R from drama. What an exciting life I lead!
It is so nice out, makes you wanna stay out, though I am not a fan of sun bathing.
What is it with shop windows? Do they make you gain 10 lbs? I mean, I went out this afternoon thinking Oh I don't look too FAT....but hey, walked past a shop window in the village (tried to NOT look in) and what do you know - where the hell did those ermmmm....did that.....I mean, ok, I know I have a few too many 'spare tyres' round my middle but.....OMG is is not nice to see yourself in such a way. Made me feel really grumpy.

I do spend an awful lot of time thinking how people must look and me and think "oh how fat is she" and I know it's silly really. But when I feel fat and frumpy I think I most definately look fat and frumpy, worse luck.

Feeling fat and frumpy does not do a lot for your self confidence. Ah well...moan over.

I am being good on my diet, truly I am. In fact I am surprising myself!

J is meeting me for lunch at the hospital tomorrow (since I only do half day on a Wed and finish at 12.30,) then we are going to walk home. All this walking has got to be good yes?

Whey hey Grays Anatomy starts again on Thursday ........yippeeeeeee........escapism is good for you. Am still in the middle of the Bubbles books and totally enjoying them. Did I say one of my hobbies is daydreaming!

Watched the Wedding Singer with Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler tonight, it was soooooooooooo romantic, I really enjoyed it.

Wednesday 23rd May

J met me for lunch at the hosp and then we walked home..am now knackered, well and truly knackered!

Would normally be dancing tonight but teacher is on holiday so no dancing this week. No other plans for tonight except relaxing/doing nothing/being lazy!

New people have moved in opposite and next door, must get round to introducing ourselves at some point. Our garden is getting a bit overgrown in the back, must do that at the wekend (good exercise). Have to go to opticians at weekend too for eye check..........seems weird saying that when work in Eye Department!

Do not feel like evening meal, though I do admit to eating some chocolate earlier, not a lot though., so not too bad. Still feeling knackered which is horrid, haven't even got the energy to flop on the couch.

Thursday 24th May

At my slimmest Dec 2003, this dress still hangs in my wardrobe and I WILL wear it again!

Getting serious about dieting!

Yeah, I hopped on the scales this morning (as you do) and have lost another 2 lbs, now of course normally I don't weigh myself till Monday so let's hope it stays off and maybe even more come off!!!! Yippeeeeeee.

Almost 6pm.My life sometimes just seems to revolve around
what I've eaten/not eaten
If I've lost weight/gained weight
pity really, I feel like What am I doing? Why am I so concerned about my weight. For that's what I want.....to be thinner.
I remember what it felt like when I got to my 'ideal' weight a few years ago. For the 1st time (when we went on holiday to France)...I felt I looked ok. I felt people (ok men) might look at me and not think "oh look at the state of her/size of her". Now I know Neil loves me very much, no matter what I weigh and that really and truly what other think should not be an issue at all.
But I guess I'm only human and when it boils down to it, being slim makes you feel more attractive and that's what I want. I do get tired of seeing myself in the mirror thinking how horrid and frumpy and unnatractive I look. But all I see is my wobbly bits, the flabby bits. If I had to describe me I'd say 'she's short, dumpy/fat'........and on a bad day I'd add (has some wrinkles/crappy hair (ie frizzy no style). Definately not a memorable person (or one you'd want to get to know more).
Arghghghg, better shut up before I depress myself.

And why on earth did I think I needed to lsoe 10 more lbs at this weight?

Right...no moree whinging and moaning. Just gonna get on with it (aiming to lose the lbs) as best I can.
Almost the weekend. R and I are going to stay in mum n dads overnight on Saturday night, not sure if J is going (depends on his friends plans etc). Sunday I am so going to do the back garden and Monday..well who knows. If I can persuade everyone, maybe we can have a walk to Heswall (exciting eh!)

Friday 25th May 2007

Am avoiding tape measure, actually a better way to tell is by your clothes (getting looser) as you lose....but mine are tighter as am sure they are shrinking in wash. Do I need my washing machine checked?

Here are some instructions on how to get from New York to London on Google maps! Go to Google, click on maps (above search box), click on get directions and type in from New York to London - look at instruction no. 21.

Neil said this made him think of me! Haha thanks Neil (actually it's rather true!)

Work ok today, got home a little earlier (hours owed). We were very naughty and had a takeaway (good old pizza magic - I had plain burger and fries and a small piece of garic bread). Ah well, will be good at weekend really I will.
Off to the Opticians in morning, I will walk there (in view of earlier plain burger and fries). Then of course will walk home then off to mum and dads to stay for one night.

Have not felt particularly hungry today (which is good, the Reductil certainly works), had porridge for brekky, yog and an apple for lunch, small roll at 4pm and ok burger etc a short while ago (well it is Friday night).

OOOOOhhhhhhhhhhhh watched Greys Anatomy last night - brill, just love it.

Grey grey clouds in the sky...too grey to walk really as going to Opticians and don't want to be soaking wet when I get there. Ah well, there's always Sunday/Monday/Tuesday for walking.
Off to mums after, that will be nice. Back tomorrow.

Still here (15 minutes later!!!)
Just waiting till time to go out. I will be very good on diet this weekend, or try to be. Is easy at mum and dads, though often I pop over the road to my sisters and am tempted to raid her fridge (has constant stash of chocolate in it)!

Well, it's just after 9am and going out about 9.45am.

Sunday 27th May

Me last night!

Back from mum and dads earlier today. Had a nice time.
Went over to my sisters about 5.45pm last night and got a phone call from my other sister asking would I like to go earn a few £'s. She was working in the Armoury (waiting on - a eve meal for 70 people) and the person who helped with the washing up did not turn up. So yep, I went along and was chief washer upper (there was a dish washer - electric!) and 2 huge sinks. Got to wear a pinny!!!!!
There were 4 girls on (2 of them my sisters) and it was quite fun actually. We finished about 8.16pm, went downstairs in the bar (waitng for the people at the meal to finish so we could take table cloths off tables). I quite enjoyed it and worked up quite a sweat....thus using up quite a few calories!! Not a glam job washing up but what the heck I got £16 for it.

R was a bit of a pain in the butt at mum n dads (moaning she wanted to go home and generally in a whingy mood) so next time I am going on my own (for a nice break, just me by myself).