We're back!! We had a great holiday, ate to much, drank too much and did not get a lot of exercise, though yesterday we did do a 3 mile walk round the lanes (some hilly ones too).

Well, I feel.......relaxed (pretty much) and glad we had a good holiday (no major moans, upsets or arguments with each other). We didn't watch tv all week but all got stuck into reading.

We went to the local pub each night and played pool and put the jukebox on.

The Chapel we rented for the week, absolutely huge inside and SO comfy.

I also feel what word can I use? Ermmmmmm....the word that comes to mind is upholstered. As in, padded, well padded. Arghghghg I have SO got to diet NOW. I can't believe how tight my jeans are on me (can just about breathe), even my shoes feel tight on me. Arghghghghghghghg

 Sunday 8th April

HAPPY EASTER

Blast and bother

Weight - 10 st 11 lbs
151 lbs

3 lbs gain OMG

I have got to be brave and get myself weighed (gulp!), should I do it this morning or tomorrow morning? Will I lose any by tomorrow?

I got weighed and I am NOT happy. I gained 3 lbs, ok not the end of the world but I am now the heaviest I have been for a long long time and I do not like it one bit. THIS HAS GOT TO STOP here and I HAVE GOT TO LOSE WEIGHT NOW.

While on holiday I picked this up in a charity shop......WOW, I am so glad I did, it was a fantastic read and luckily it is the first novel in a series of 5.
She may be a hairdresser with the body of a Barbie doll and a fatal weakness for hot pants, but Bubbles Yablonsky is not just another dumb blonde. Convinced there's more to life than giving blue dye jobs at Sandy's House of Beauty , Bubbles has done what few in Lehigh, PA, would dare: she's gone back to school. She's determined to turn her taste for gossip into a talent for journalism, and she knows a secret about the death of Laura Buchman that could be her Big Break. Plus, she gets to work with photographer Steve Stiletto - a dead ringer for Mel Gibson, and exactly the kind of mysterious, dangerous man her mother warned her against.

But when Bubbles stumbles on to a crime scene she is suddenly up to her roots in a nasty murder investigation with suspects ranging from a greedy steel tycoon to Stiletto himself. She soon discovers that while brazen bravado gets results, some people will do anything to keep her quiet...

I have ordered the next in the series from Ebay - Bubbles In trouble and have ordered Bubbles Ablaze from Amazon, now I have to get Bubbles A Broad, Bubbles Betrothed and Bubbles All The Way. Sarah Strohmeyer has also written The Cinderella Pact and Sleeping Beauty, both of which I want ASAP. She also did the following book which sounds great!

Barbie Unbound : A Parody of the Barbie Obsession by Sarah Strohmeyer

This is an extremely funny, tongue-in-cheek book featuring Barbie posed in all kinds of funny pictures with "interviews" about the barbie in each picture. Examples are :Teenage Pregnant Barbie, Welfare Queen Barbie, and PMS Barbie - REALLY FUNNY STUFF!

This is the blurb off the back of the book:

From Plastic To Person In A Single Bound

Whether you're fed up with Barbie's materialistic, malibu message or you just love to torture thin-thighed fashion dolls, here's the guide you've been waiting for. Grunge Barbie, Welfare Queen Barbie, Safe Sex Barbie, Barbie at the French Revolution* and much more are just pages away. You're liberated - why shouldn't your Barbie be too?

*Guilltoine not included

Neil doing some writing in the kitchen earlier. He is cheesed off cos he gained about 7 lbs while on holiday!

I got these pretty curtains and a bedspread to match while on holiday and the throwover at the bottom of the bed, my sister gave to me (it's kingsize and covers the whole bed). I think I am going to paint the room cream though with one wall being a very pale pink, at the moment it is all pink.

Neil took this pic earlier of me and Blackie having a snooze on the bed (I am hidden there under the covers fast asleep and Blackie is the black blob curled up besides me).

I have actually been very good today with my eating (helped by a long afternoon sleep!). And I am trying now to follow the Slimming World plan again in the hope that this gives me some control over what I am eating. It's almost 11pm but I must say I could murder a takeaway right now!!!!!

 Today is Monday 9th April 2007

One side of my throat/neck hurts...arghghg. Also I've been getting loads of palpitations lately - randomly and this is worrying me a bit.

Right it's Monday and it's time to start again! We all know what I mean - yep DIETING!

The scales will NOT be going in an upward direction anymore...not if I can help it. I am feeling fairly good (as in, in a fairly good mood about restricting what I eat each and every day and giving up alcohol for the forseeable future). I am feeling fairly motivated (it helps to catch glimpses of yourself in the mirror and the whole of you does not fit in the mirror).

All I need to do is, eat less and move more, how many times have I said this? So today I yep, eat less.....dunno about the moving more? Well, I need to clean the house (uses up calories). I want to paint my kitchen (yes, again), lime green I think, Mmmmm a pale lime green. Unfortunately will have to wait till payday as we are skint at the moment - which also means cannot get goodies from supermarket - noly have enough money for basics (eg milk, eggs, some fruit and veggies and also we have to buy some food suitable for teenage lads (as J's friend Dan is stopping over tonight...which means pizza (shop bought not takeaway).
Need to get some healthy recipes together. I did soak some butter beans last night!!!

Made a carrot and butterbean soup. Ate well today which I am pleased about. We got the trampoline out in the garden and just have to finish fixing it up tomorrow, then R and I are going to get doing some jumping on it each day.
J was disapointed that his friend could not stay over (his parents would not let him cos he has not done enough revising). I am starting to worry about the fact that J has not started any revising - his finals are in May/June.
Neil mowed the lawn today though he has not been feeling well, a bad cold virus thing

It's just after midnight and Neil and I have been watching Ghost Whisperer. And ok I was very naughty and ate ANOTHER 2 hot cross buns (they have to be eaten by today, the sell by date). Wish I hadn't, not worth 370 calories (or 18 syns) and that's not counting the margarine. PHAH......I will aim to do better tomorrow.

OMG I hope my work uniform still fits me on Wednesday.

 Tuesday 10th April 2007

 Did not get up till 10.30am (Neil went off to work at 7.30am). I am going to do my best to eat well today. I so hate the way I look at the moment. My aim now is to lose this weight for our summer holiday. I wish I could hide away somewhere on my own for ages till all the weight has gone.

R has gone up to her nan and grandads for a few hours, J is playing guitar. It is so lovely and sunny out. Am a bit bored though. Should get off my butt and go for a walk, but I don't like walking on my own really. J and I haven't got round to finishing off the trampoline so hopefully we'll do that by the time R gets home, then we can have a go on it.

This is how I feel right now!

4pm and what have I done this afternoon? NOTHING absolutely nothing, how lazy am I. What a waste of a day and I am in work tomorrow, well, it's only half day in work.

  Blackie with her head in a trainer!
Blackie looking tiny by the small table
Flowers I bought 2 weeks ago from Tesco (and they were reduced to 46p a bunch too)
Kitchen today with a bit of sunshine, I have changed my mind I don't think I'll do it lime green! Not sure what colour I'll do it next?
Blackie longingly looking to the outside world earlier today.

When on holiday I went into the LUSH shop in Carlisle. I have had some of their creams before and really like them, last one I had was Dream Cream and this time I bought Celestial. I have quite sensitive skin and I do like to moisturise my face every day. I do love the LUSH skin creams.

Did well today following diet plan. I am not saying that if we had stuff in (ie goodies) that I wouldn't have given in though. We have very little in the fridge or freezer. I do tend to feel that when I have been good all day (as is often the case), well I feel knarky and feel that come the evening time I ought to be able to eat what I want, to be able to sit down in front of the tv (or read) and relax with some nice nibbles. Trouble is these nibbles often add up to more than a days worth of calories and spoil how good I have been in the day and hence I don't lose weight.

I need to have stuff in the fridge (free stuff on the SW plan) that I can eat if I have to. Like crudities (pieces of celery, tomatoe, carrot, peppers etc and maybe some cottage cheese to use as a dip. Fruit is alo free on the plna but I try to avoid this at night as it requires me to take insulin which I am trying not to do. Low to no carbohydrate snacking in the evening helps me have better blood sugars in the mornings. On DAFNE I can snack what I want when I want in theory, but I have found that nightime snacking that requires insulin makes me have high blood sugars in the morning.

 Wednesday 11th April 2007

 Well it's 7.30am, Neil has gone to work. I have managed to get my work uniform on. I am hoping the button does not pop off the trousers, they are VERY tight unfortunately. I shall guage any weightloss by how loose the trousers get!

Yippeeeee Bubbles In Trouble came this morning from an Ebayer - YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Am just about to get stuck into it now.

Have had enough of being this weight now, it's not me, not how I want to be. I have to be realistic and know that I won't get rid of 28 lbs or so overnight. It's gonna take some work (determination). Yesterday and today I have not felt particularly hungry and htis helps when trying to keep to a diet plan but the key is to have healthy stuff in that you can eat when hunger strikes. Am going to Tesco's later (the fridge is empty). Neil is going to drop me off half way to work tomorrow so I can walk the rest of the way, I will do this on Friday too.

I have not had any I honestly have not had any but I WANT SOME NOW. I want it more I want it more I want it more .............what do I want more? Well, to be slimmer of course. I want to be slimmer more than I want to stuff my facce with goodies and chocolate and cake and cream cakes and nice food and chocolate and you know, chocolate.
That's what I am going to keep saying to myself when I am tempted to eat any old thing "What do I want more, that chococolate or to be nice and slim"? I'd really like some nice chocolate please.

WELL.....................I did buy some cadbury creme eggs off the supermarket (2 boxes of 8 - making 16 altogether, they were on special offer/reduced price) and I am so proud of myself, I have not even eaten one. J and his friend ate some, R had 2 and there's some left, 9 to be exact. I have been SO SO good on the diet plan today. Standing in front of the mirror in undies scares the crap out of me, makes me too scared to eat! So when I am tempted to 'give in' which can potentially lead to a binge, then off I will go to look in the bedroom mirror!!!!!!

 Thursday 12th April 2007

 Once again, so far today, I am actually being very good on the plan. I am managing to stick to it and not be hungry (so far) and there are still YES STILL cadburys creme eggs in the fridge!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok ok I had 2 YES 2 cadburys creme eggs before, but BUT I have counted them in the plan, I have
Feel in a terribly grey mood. How can a person's moods change so quickly? One minute I felt fine now I seem to have all the worries in the world, just silly things really, you know, like suddenly I am SO worried about work, more specifically - I feel Hey I am not very good at my job and I am sure everyone in work thinks this.
And them there's money - as in, we have none. Then there's the kids - R is having to go swimming on Monday with school and I know she will get upset about it and what other kids may say about how she looks in a bathing costume.
Then there's.I dunno really, I just have this HUGE big grey/black cloud hanging over me. I feel worried and knarky and GREY and it's horrid
And I feel unhappy with everyone and everything and I just don't know why?
Maybe I shouldn't have had those creme eggs................that's why I had the creme eggs.

Food plan for tomorrow - DUNNO, don't care right now.

Watched the MCR Londaon video on BBC tonight and that made me feel a bit better. Tine for sleep now.

Friday 13th April

Have not sone so well on diet this evening unfortunately. I did get dropped off halfway to work this morning - walked the rest of the way there and then I walked all the way home from work too even though my feet were aching. Will try and be good over the next few days though we are off to Leeds tomorrow for an overnight stay - hopefully we'l get some walking done.

Bag I have won on ebay - am waiting for it to be delivered.