Monday 4th May

After Cheshire Oaks on Sunday, Neil ran me to Flint and I stayed there overnight, just me. Mum n dad were out when I first got there so I went over to my sisters for a few hours. We had a laugh. Then we decided to change her rooms around (the back room and the conservatory and clean them, which took a few hours. We did have a break inbetween on the garden swing with a cup of tea.

 Wed 6th May 2009

Work ok, Was going to walk to work but didn't. was going to walk home from work but didn't!
Am going to go and do 2 hours dancing tonight!

Some people, when they learn to wait for hunger, find themselves bored. They'd been filling their time with eating. Now what?

Faced with boredom, you want to eat. Why? Because boredom is stressful. It brings up faulty beliefs, such as "I should be doing something constructive."

Try disputing that belief. Why isn't it okay to be bored and do nothing for a little while? Why isn't it okay to waste time? Eventually, you'll find other things you like to do. But you don't HAVE TO be busy or productive every darned minute of the day. Have you ever thought of that? Chase away those MUSTS! Replace them with "I'd like to..."

Give yourself a break today, and allow yourself to be a little bored. Recognize that it can be stressful, and remember, "I can tolerate stress."

Then, after a while, you might think of something cool to do, like washing the car or something. But when you feel like it.

Taken from Diet Survivors Meditations

Am not terribly in the mood for going dancing. It's 7.35pm and I have about 20 minutes to decide. Think I might kinda get ready and leave it till the last possible minute (to decide)!

 THURSDAY 7th May

Work was ok, we had lunchtime teaching session and they provided lunch (as they normally do) which was - scoffing while you learn! Of course I avoided the cakes and similar goodies.
I DID do dancing last night and enjoyed it. Did not walk to work this morning as did not get up till 7am - I like to get up aout 6am to walk to work, that way I get time for a breakfast and a nice cup of tea without rushing.
Popping to Asda or Sainsburys tonight for a pair of black trousers, that I need for my 'ushering' on Saturday night.See, I had a bad hair day the other day - well, actually most days are bad hair days. Look like a bloody witch with scraggy hair. Mum said to me why don't I go to the hairdressers and get a decent cut - Hmmmmm....must say I am inclined to agree but at moment cannot afford it. I hate scraggy dry hair (which mine most definately is at present), looks a mess and looks like I don't look after my hair at all or care what it looks like. I can see why people in work (colleagues) get their hair done often at the hairdressers, then their hair always looks nice. Mine can look nice sometimes, but mostly looks like I never do anything to it other than bleach/colour it - then cos I do this - YEP it looks like crap.
having your hair done makes you look good and not like an old hag - am a bit haggy looking lately. Stupid hair.
Did not need to pop to Asda or Sainsburys as found a pair of black trousers I had which are ok. Am glad did not go to Asda or Sainsburys as would have been tempted to get 'goodies' (chocolate, cream cakes etc)!

Have almost finished painting the hall bannisters (I gave up on the stripping them) .

 Friday 8th May 2009

Got weighed this morning in work and lost another lb.

Weight - 10 st 7 lbs (147 lbs)
Loss so far - 4 lbs
Lbs to lose - 28

Am out for a meal at my managers house tonight, I think there are 6 or more of us going.

 Saturday 9th May 2009

J said he is going to jog round the block with me, starting tomorrow, ready for the Race For Life. Can't do it tonight as I am off to Liverpool to do the Unity Theatre ushering job (volunteering) with Vicky which I am so looking forward to. Over the last 6 years I have helped out a a lot if Diabetes UK events, when I was on the local committee. I stepped down from all that as I was not enjoying it as much. I like to get involved in things and love helping out at things. It's nice that you can do this sort of thing but that you are only as committed as you want to be, meaning, you an help out when you can and that way things do not become a chore. I feel as though I could do with something to get involved in, something that I can enjoy and feel helpful at. I mean, I know I do my dancing every week (have been doing so for 5 years+), but this theatre things sounds totally different sort of thing to do..

 Sunday 10th May 2009

Had a great time last night ushering at the Unity Theatre Liverpool. We had to wear a Ubity t-shirt (that said Usher on the back). We took tickets at the door, cleaned up between shows and best of all we got to watch the 2 commedians that were on for the night (a Craig Hill and Phil Nichol who sang I'm The Only Gay Eskimo which weirdly enough I heard for the first time when at J's 18th - it was one of the songs the sound team played when they were setting up and J had heard it before and thinks the song is BRILLIANT - likes Phil Nichol. So at the end of the night I got Phil Nichol's autograph for J - cool or what!
Vicky and I both really enjoyed the evening, she is very much into theatre. The people we met who worked there were very nice and we have our names down for several more performances (including Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf, Midsummer Night's Dream etc). J said he would like to get involved too so we are going to look at the programme today and see what he might like to help out at.

Have done next to nothing today.Neil had just taken R to Blockbuster for a film, J had his friend Stacey here. Apart from cooking ginner, wot else have I done? Errrrr.....nothing and it's almost 5.20pm. Am in work in the morning, just till 12.30pm. I don't normally do a Monday but am working tomorrow cos Elaine and I did a swap, she did a half day for me at Easter when we went away.
Wed night I am off to see a play in Guildon Sutton at their little village hall. One of the staff in the Eye Dept is in the play as is her husband - it's a period drama She Stoops To Conquer.

Me and the kids jogged/walked round the block, but they kept making me laugh and I couldn't concentrate on the jogging, by the time we got home I was huffing and puffing! Bloody hell I am so unfit.

Kids said they'd do this with me each night, well, just as it is getting slightly dark (am too embarrased to be seen in daylight!). They ran much faster than me - OHHHHHHH I gotta get fitter. Think I should start making use of the treadmill again.

Am planning on walking to work in the morning as long as is not raining.

2am, need to try and get to sleep as in work tomorrow.

Monday 11th May 2009

Work ok in the morning, caught the bus there with J (he went on to college).

J is in a Battle Of The Bands at a local high school this Friday night (one of his girlfriends helps organise it each year and asked J to form a group to be in it). Anyway J, his best mate Dan and their friend Craig are the band! They have been rehearsing at Liverpool for the last several weeks. They are doing 5 songs. Tonight J played through them (he is playing bass guitar, Dan is on lead and Craig on drums) - Dan and J are singing.

BLOODY HELL he is good, I am so proud of him, he sounds brilliant. I have not heard them all playing as a group but R and Neil and I are going there Friday night to watch the Battle Of The Bands. There's 5 other bands playing. One of J's other girlfriends (yes he has loads, well I don't think he is actually going out with one of them but there's always girls knocking on the door for him!) is singing in one of the other bands.

J just has so much enthusiasm and enjoys performing and over this last year or so his singing voice has improved! I love watching him play guitar and singing as you can tell he has a great time and he always laughs a lot and makes it look fun.

Tuesday 12th May 2009

I walked to work this morning. Wish I were fitter as I felt a little bit knackered on the walk. Diet is going ok sort of........not brill but not that bad either. Other than work, have not done anything else today.

Ha can you tell I am blah-ed off. You know, in a VERY BLAH mood.
Am off to Guildon Sutton tomorrow night to see the play She Stoops To Conquer, am looking forward to that, am going with Elaine who I job share with. Half day in work tomorrow too.

Thursday 14th May 2009

I totally enjoyed the play last night, it was great fun. I loved the costumes and the script was funny, as were the actors/actresses. They all did SO well, very very enjoyable.

Work was okish today. I plod on.

I am not expecting a loss on the scales tomorrow morning as I have not particularly done anything in effort to lose some weight this week. If I have a gian PLEASE let it be a small one! Not planning on walking tomorrow as rain is forcast. Did a walk yesterday as R and I went to meet J from college in the afternoon.

Had some yummt Carte D'or (or however you spell it) ice-cream tonight. Mmmmmmmm.........
Had Slim Fast for breakfast and a jacket potato and salad with strawberries for lunch. Nibbled on Thai rice crackers at home before evening meal. Oh, what did I have for eve meal? Oh yeah, v unhealthy and not a balanced meal at all, in fact not a meal - I had chicken pie (very uninteresting) and a bowl of soup. Had the ice-cream in the evening!!!!!!

Next week I WILL make an effoer to eat better!

Friday 15th May 2009

Don't want to get weighed this morning!!!!!! 7.30am, going to work soon. I KNOW for certain I have not lost weight this week, I can tell. So, this coming week, I need a GOOD week - let's get serious.

SATURDAY 16th May 2009

Neil and I went to see J in Battle of The Bands last night. BRILLIANT. Jonathan and his group sounded great (not perfect) but GREAT! The lights went off on them in their last song and the sound on the mikes but J sang louder and you could still hear him. J got the audience up (he is great with an audience).. They sounded fantastic and I loved seeing him on stage. Dan was great too and Craig. There were 4 bands on. The girl who sang for the winning band (one of J's 'girlfriends') came up to me at the end and said she had wanted J and Dan to win (Awww so sweet).
Don't 'teenagers' hug and kiss each other a lot these days, in a friendship way. J always get LOADS of hugs and kisses!!!! He said when all the bands were backstage they were all chatting and got on really well, he TOTALLY enjoyed the night. You can tell he loves being on stage, he never ever looks nervous and always laughs and smiles and interacts with the audience.

One of the teachers from the school who J said he'd only met once came up to J and said he was really sorry he missed them on stage (he had been out of the hall) which J thought was really nice. J said lots of people (kids) he did not know said well done to them (J, Dan and Craig).

The winning band were very good, in fact all of them were. I won a bottle of Cava in the raffle!

J wants to carry on gigging as much as he can.They (he, Dan and Craig) are rehearsing next Friday. He said they want to do their own songs and J is good at writing them. I hope that they continue to rehearse as often as they can, yes I know it costs, but it's something they all enjoy (they all chip in for the cost which is good).

Oh by the way, I got weighed on Friday morning at work. Grrrr...............I had gained a lb. BUT not to worry it will be gone (and another) by next week!

Next Friday I am going to Jabula for a meal with people from work as one of the Optometrists is getting married soon (excuse to celebrate!). I have been here once before about 2 years ago (again with people from work) - it was really enjoyable and nice food (I had crocodile and the springbok and kudo and ostrich!).

Sorry R for burning your pizza!
Neil and I blitzed the kitchen, one room down 4 to go!!!!!!!!! At least it is exercise. I have defrosting from Tesco a delicious looking toffee cream cheesecake - and guess WOT? I AM NOT GOUNG TO HAVE EVEN A LICK!
Truly I am not. See my self control.

SUNDAY 17th MAY 2009

I was soooooooooooooooooooo good yesterday with that cheesecake - I did not even have a lick, though I would have loved some!
Did have some wine in the evening though, gotta cut this one out if I want to lose the lbs. Was quite good on food yesterday. No plans for today, might try and get everyone to go for a walk later.